Insanity Fair
Though some have said it should be, this wasn't intended as hip-hop. I can't think of a rhythm it follows long enough to really flow. It just is, and as it's always been, is then as it should be. Evidently.
I go now before it starts again. :-)
****
Insanity Fair
I'm strapped for cash in
with half the cast of Laugh-in slingin’ hash and
wonderin' what's the news across the nation?
This just in:
Dick Martin's backed in
among all the young men,
good friends of Dan Rowan,
Bill Paxton and Rowan Atkinson relaxing
With Prince, Patch Adams, and Janet Jackson,
on the Atchison, Topeka, and Sante Fe.
“Hey! This is our chance to get out of jail free,”
said Marvin, guardin' the community chest in my Monopolopolis,
downtrodden in downtown Passamaquoddy,
down a passable decrepit path
to Rowdy Roddy's party, where Roddy McDowell and
Malcolm, in the middle of sex, lies and videotapes
Andie drinkin’ milk on the roof with a fiddler
eatin' Skittles with the Riddler,
Bette Midler, Dirk Diggler, Satine, and Zidler
as we browse Ikea for umlauted vowels,
rhymin' puzzles muggle style in five-part Hermione,
and we’re not even tryin’, we're just flyin', smokin' Potter.
”Bjork's last name is Gudmudnsdottir” said
Mr. Body in the study of our moldy
sordid mini purgatory dormitory.
“Get a forty for the shorty my minority reporter,”
I said, stepping back to flex or at best suggest my mean authority.
Petey, stop dragin' yer ass, grab yer doglegged dragon
it's time for a jag, to go out for a shag,
jet lag and all with Susan Sontag
She's mad as hell at Guy Montag
Her Pøpli kid's burnin' a brand new bag
of sugar taken from Tina Fey, ray tracin' Tori Amos,
James Schamus raising Dean Cain enabling Reuben James
and Doris Day having her say regarding
the James Earls Jones and Ray melee
I'm comin' away with Norah, jonsin' alone again
in the den with Steve and Strother Martin,
fearin' loathing Katherine Keener,
Laurence, Gene, and Maura Tierney,
B.D. Wong and D.B. Sweeney
Sorry, Thor Heyeyrdahl is gone on Kon Tiki
with Louis Leaky, the Duke and Keye Luke gettin' higher
Z-Man Barzell, Easy-E, Easy Rider -
Put the brakes on, Diana
Spencer Tracy takes on livin’ with Aki Ross
stirrin' up special sauce with Russ and Amber Tamblyn
Sure I like Dreamworks but I got mad love for Amblin
Greetings, Professor Falken; Hello, Cristopher Walken,
who’s Brainstormin’ whether Natalie would play a winning game
with Mel Torme, a.k.a. the Velvet Fog,
Gog and Magog, Foghat and Boss Hogg,
Sal Mineo, Phineas Bogg,
eating shoes with Werner Herzog
throwin' fits on your weblog.
Tchernobog on
with Austrud and Joao Gilberto on Corcovado with Fitzcarraldo
who was, I was told, left out in the cold,
Smokin’ the seeds that he'd received free,
from the Breeders, Kim and Kelly, the real dealers,
like Tonya Donnelly and Jennifer Connolly
formerly of Belly and "Career Opportunities," respectively.
Annette Bening's penning salacious memoirs of her
Glengarry Glen Roster of A-List tell all-stars:
Kenneth Mars and Martin Denny, David Fincher, Richard Lester
Peter Finch scoutin' gems for Eminem and Jodie Foster,
who made a groovy movie on the life of Lily Tomlin,
beginning then in Michigan and ending at a Bennegan's with
MC Mellie Mel tellin’ Paul Bartel on his Nextel he’ll see him
Next Wednesday with Keenen and Kel,
Noel Coward, Gennifer Flowers,
Bob and Carol and N. Ron Howard,
Ian McKellen, Dave Lewallyn, Penn and Teller, and Sally Kellerman,
Blunted on Newsweek with Fareed Zakaria,
Doctor Daktari, Peter Scolari and Daria,
Justice Scalia and Fraulein Maria, do re me fa Tony and Tia,
Teena Marie and Rita Moreno, Mia Farrow and Clarence Darrow
Elaine Stritch on a mission, with Thora Birch bitchin'
boolean searchin' for Decora switches,
Lilo is stitchin', I'm rich in my fiction,
but no one will listen except James Lipton,
And all he wants to do is ask stupid questions
to Sabu on Naboo with R2 and Apu,
about John Galt in FUBU and that voodoo that you do
that gets Gong Li is longingly calling me brooding
and Howdy Doody and Susan Faludi colluding with
Garry Trudeau on Doonesbury Farm
Vaughn and Favreau hard smokin' cigars
moreover the Fab Morvan show is now over
like Woody Allen adapting Anhedonia,
Mini-Me, Vanilla, Icy Liza Minelli
Neurontin, Gnutella, Acapella Versace
You got it all wrong, I made it up all along
Aamir Khan don't pay no Lagaan -
But try telling that to Ray Dawn or Tommy Chong
or - god forbid - Elton John getting it on
in a jet plane jaunt on the way to
High and lonesome, over the transom,
ya win some, you lose some, both winsome and loathsome
My happiness is not a warm gun -
It's ice cream at HoJo's, and Jeanane Garafalo
blowin' shit up like her name's Loizeaux.
It’s sex like Johnny Depp when he’s Don Juan DeMarco'n
Gilbert Grape’s eatin’ a box of Samoans
Sweet 'n Lowenstein, I'm the Prince of bad Tidings
3's the magic number cuz I’m 3-feet high and rising
bidin' my time with Teen Wolf and Styles,
surfin' van roofs down the Miracle Mile.
This fresh off the wire:
they know I'm a liar, like poison from the friar,
just ask Richard Pryor, fucked up and on fire,
flyin' on a Huffy roughin' up Cary Guffey,
all tuffy like Buffys St. Marie and Summers,
Eva Marie Saintly knockin' socks off Johnny Carson and Grand Mof Tarkin,
Griel Marcus, Greer Garson, Garson Kanin and especially
Carson Daly speedin' exponentially on Silicon Germanium
Gordon Moore on the beach with Nevil, shootin' William Shockley,
Carrie (I mean Sissy Spacek) shockin' Betty Buckley,
Pam Grier glockin' plot McGuffins like nothin’
while I talk up Ellen Barkin like a dog for Charlie Kaufman.
leave a response