O Velveteen, My Velouria
I've learned the first new word of my 30's: scupper. Like scuttle, it's naval and descriptive. And it would make a good band name.
The San Jose Wave featured a list of cool Christmas gift links, and I followed one to The Velvet Store, a website that caters specifically to those with an interest in velvet paintings. Their bread-and-butter is, of course, the King - Elvis, not Larry - and they seem hell-bent on taking Elvis kitsch to a new high. (God, he thought, who has time for kitsch anymore?)
Behold, Elvis and Jesus in Heaven:
The San Jose Wave featured a list of cool Christmas gift links, and I followed one to The Velvet Store, a website that caters specifically to those with an interest in velvet paintings. Their bread-and-butter is, of course, the King - Elvis, not Larry - and they seem hell-bent on taking Elvis kitsch to a new high. (God, he thought, who has time for kitsch anymore?)
Behold, Elvis and Jesus in Heaven:
Jesus looks bitchin'-cool - kinda like the ultimate roadie. Though he looks a little pissed off that Elvis stole his radience: "Dude, that's my halo."
In fact, Elvis kinda looks like the Latino Elvis impersontor from the side-stage at the Gilroy Garlic Festival. But hey - why quibble. Likeness is a hard thing to capture. But at least they got Jesus right - the Good Lord would, of course, look like the unkempt Brad Pitt in the red velvet states.
Not only will the Velvet Store satisfy your burnin' love for the big E, but you can hook up with all the kitsch classics - dogs playing cards, the works. The best service though, is the means by which you can send these people a picture - of yourself or, most imporantly, a "loved" one - and have it sent back to you as an Elvis-ized velvet masterpiece.
In fact, Elvis kinda looks like the Latino Elvis impersontor from the side-stage at the Gilroy Garlic Festival. But hey - why quibble. Likeness is a hard thing to capture. But at least they got Jesus right - the Good Lord would, of course, look like the unkempt Brad Pitt in the red velvet states.
Not only will the Velvet Store satisfy your burnin' love for the big E, but you can hook up with all the kitsch classics - dogs playing cards, the works. The best service though, is the means by which you can send these people a picture - of yourself or, most imporantly, a "loved" one - and have it sent back to you as an Elvis-ized velvet masterpiece.
He was but a lonely, expatriate Russian coder until the day his department pooled their funds for the gift that would shine a light on the King inside. Spaciba bolshoye, sweetlittlemama.


HOT. Now you know what to get me for Christmas. That is, if you can't find any hot taxedermy.
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