<body>

directorcommentary | jasonbentley.org

Jason Bentley, Santa Clara, California: writing, photography, graphic design, music, audio, video, technology, life

Now that Christopher Reeve has died
and Scott Peterson is guilty,
will Larry King just keel over dead?

So I just watched Larry King Live, since what else is there to do on a day when all the Bay Area is aflutter with the news - Scott Peterson is guilty. You know some snarkly grad student is gonna make a off-off-off-off-broadway musical about this circus, and this day will get a song of it's own. "Did ya hear? Did ya hear? / Everybody stand up and cheer / Peterson is G-U-I-L-T-Y." What the hell is Larry King gonna have to talk about? Now Aaron Brown is doing what CNN pays him to do - ruminate about What It All Means. Headcock, smirk.

I adore Aaron Brown. Seriously.

Anyway, what the hell is Larry King gonna do to continue his autopilot now that Peterson is guilty. Well, it's not over yet - there's the penalty phase. Or so I learned tonight from some laywer in a black leather jacket that nobody likes. I've totally tuned this garbage out. I was too busy focusing on the dignity and gravitas of the election.

A couple things trouble me. First, is the tendency, during the "person-on-the-street" interviews, for teary regular folks to pretend to want things "for the family." I noticed this earlier this week, when one of the news outlets interviewed a female Modesto resident with a voice like Suzanne Pleshette but with more bass. She was pointing at the ground and loudly proclaimed, "It's been two years, and I'm sick of the trial and the publicity. All I can say is that I want this crap over now...for the family." And today: "I'm so glad they found him guilty. Now I hope, for the family, they give him the lethal injection."

It's a disquieting...would that be transference? Hmm.

The other troubling thing is this uniquly American overreliance on this ephemeral, ineffible myth called "closure." Do we, as Americans, get off on victimhood so much that we promote the absence of a resolving chord into a cause for pity, paralysis, or worse?

Adobe Gone Wrong:
Superbabies

Oh God...no...NOOO...wake me up from this nightmare!



Okay, first off, I'll go on the record to say that I wretch and recoil at any attempt to anthropromorphize babies. Babies crawl, drool, coo, and smell funny. They do not dance, fret about the opposite sex, or talk like Bruce Willis. Nor are they angels, nor are they superheroes. Is there really a market for this crap? Is it just expectant mothers and elementary school teachers hard up for a movie that'll pass the permission slip gauntlet?

Secondly, what the hell is up with this trend of sex-doll faces on minors? The third kid from the left is even worse than the Screaming Demon Baby because while that was a doctored photo of a kid with his mouth open, this is obviously some kind of quasi-brush job done to open some kid's mouth and to give him a lolling, swollen tongue. I mean...why? Is he screaming for the humilation to end? Is he screaming for OSHA? Is he crying cuz he just soiled himself? Is he uttering some Superbaby catchphrase ("Baby...baby not!")?

While there's no way I can really prove this was perpitrated with an Adobe product, I can quote the Oompa-Loompas, this is "repulsive, revolting, and wrong."