directorcommentary | jasonbentley.org

Thanks to Doron for continued updates on the plight of poor Gary Brolsma. This time, he's in the New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/26/nyregion/26video.html?

It's that time of year again...dig in and follow along with me as I surf the peaks and valleys of the Academy Awards! You'll probably get comments from my mom too as she checks in with me on the phone. Tradition runs deep. :-D

It's raining up here, but the weather down in LA seems pretty nice. They're arriving in on the carpet know, and Ebert and Roeper are there.

Ebert's talking Laura Linney now. Nice dress but her hair kinda evokes a Gieger alien.

They're showing Academy of Art College commercials with Diane Baker, dean of the acting school, and I saw another version of the commercial where I swear she actually said, "you might remember me as Senator Ruth Martin in The Silence of the Lambs," all Troy McClure style.

P. Diddy is there wearing his own clothing line with a $100,000 bracelet. Ho yeah. P. Diddy has declared it "a great night for fashion." You heard it here first.

Don Cheadle! Sexy man!


OMG! Did you see Hilary Swank's pretty blue dress with nipples?! It's Guy LaRoche. So there. Oooh, pictures! So here!


It's like being there! Only it's from my TV!!!

So yeah, this carpet arrival shit is getting boring. Renée Zellweger in black hair. Meh. Cate Blanchett looks fucking radiant.

Wow, the rain here is really coming down.

Johnny Depp looks amazing as always.

Oh Jesus...it's Billy Bush. Kill me.

brb...heading to 7-11 :-D

oooh yeah! Back with 6 minutes to spare!

It's starting!!! :-D

Wow...it's odd to think that J.C. Penney can still sponsor events like this. Simba in the only cat I know that likes to play in the rain. He just came in all soggy and wanting love.

Chris Rock is lookin' sexy. :-) "Sit yo asses down!" I know my mom isn't gonna get the Ja Rule is not Tupac jokes.

Art Direction's the first one. Ah, this must be their new time-saving measure. All the nominees are standing on the stage. And the winner is The Aviator.

Best Supporting Actor! My guess is Thomas Haden Church. And it's Morgan Freeman for Million Dollar Baby! Yay! That's cool. :-)
My mom liked the way he bowed. "That's a classy man," she says.

The screens in the stage are cool.

Robin Williams schtick. Yay.

Okay, animation. If it's not The Incredibles, the Academy can eat me. YAAAAY! It's The Incredibles. :-D

Oooh, another time-saving measure. They show them in their seats. And they give their speeches on stair landing. Oh, the indignity. :-) Oh, the winner is Lemony Snicket. I got this one right too.

"Please welcome...the multi-talented...Drew Barrymore." Oh my Gawd! She looks like Kelly Osbourne!!!

Beyoncé sings in French with a murder of pale white kids. Haw haw haw...what message ees zees zending to Miseur Boosh? She definately finished better than she started. Simon Cowell woulda tore her up though. :-)

The bit where Chris Rock goes to the Magic Johnson theatres was pretty funny. Nobody's seen any of the best picture nominees but everyone's seen and loves White Chicks. :-) The lady who was bitching Chris Rock out for being all up on her was hilarious.

Pierce Brosnan sounds like Tom Waits! Awww, and he's doing a bit with Edna from The Incredibles. This is for Costumes. And my pick was The Aviator. And the winner is...The Aviator! Damn I'm good!

Tim Robbins presents Best Supporting Actress. I picked Cate Blanchett for The Aviator. And the winner is...Cate Blanchett! Woohoo! I'll say it again, she looks absolutely radiant. Uh-oh. My mom's really happy with that one. She called me to share her approval. :-) She's hoping The Aviator wins best picture.

Doron in NYC speaks:

Doron Meyer: blah blah :)
Doron Meyer: are you truly liveblogging the oscars :0
Jason Bentley: Yes :-D

And the best documentary is not Super Size Me which will turn a bunch of people off.

Orlando Bloom! *fapfapfapfapfap*

Best Film Editing goes to Thelma Schoonmaker for The Aviator. So this is turning into an Aviator party big time. I didn't make a choice for this award.

"Welcome...the loveable...Mike Myers." Love him. Love him, people. And he's introducing the "popular singing group" Counting Crows. *bites lower lip*

Adam Sandler for Best Adapted Screenplay. I said Sideways. And again, I was right. Boo-yaa!

Wow, Zhang Zi-yi looks terrified as she presents Best Visual Effects with Jake Gyllenhall. I picked Spider-Man 2. Right again, baby! Woohoo!

Al Pacino presents an honorary Oscar to Sidney Lumet. Lumet wrote a great book about movie making that I'd recommend to anybody with even the least bit of interest in the subject. It's called Making Movies if memory serves. Whoa...shots of a movie in production with Vin Diesel in a hairpiece as a lawyer. Bizarro.

Beyoncé is singing again. I'm getting sleepy.

The short subject winner said her award was the dog's bollocks. Joy.

Kate Winslet's looking awesome. She's wearing blue. I like blue. Cinematography - I'd said The House Of Flying Daggers but not surprisingly it went to The Aviator.

Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek gives out Sound Mixing to a bunch of guys for Ray. And sound editing to The Incredibles.

What's up with all these off-camera banging sounds?

¡Ay Dio! Antonio Banderas sings with Carlos Santana! And they embrace! Bravo!

Best Documentary Short Subject, Natalie Portman, yada yada. A drunk guy wins. Yay HBO.

Okay, Travolta gives out Original Score. I say The Passion of the Christ. And I'm wrong. It's Finding Neverland. Which I haven't seen. So yay. :-)

If The Aviator keeps kicking ass, Scorsese might get the Best Director Oscar.

Beyoncé again! Singing with Josh Groban! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Holy shit! It's Prince! He's presenting best song to the guy from The Motorcycle Diaries, who sang his thanks.

Sean Penn presents Best Actress! Fingers crossed for Hillary Swank! And its....HILARY SWANK! Yayayayay! I'll reiterate: she rules.

Best Original Screenplay goes to Charlie Kaufman for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!

Charlize Theron presents Best Actor to...Jamie Foxx for Ray. Yay! I got 3/4 of the major acting categories.

Best Director: Clint Eastwood :-) We knew that, though, didn't we?

Hoffman and Streisand present Best Picture! They know the queens are watching, don't they? And the winner is...(is Dustin drunk?)...the winner is...Million Dollar Baby.

And with that, I'm out. :-) Mom's virdict tomorrow.

Speaking of art, it seems that The Gates backlash is well under way. The Venerable Alex Samodurov (who is tired of hearing about it too, thank you very much) sent me the skinny on The Crackers. And Roman Roman sent me The Buckets.

But enough of that...it's Oscar time!

When I was a kid back in Detroit's Downriver area, the Detroit Institute of Arts ran a series of commercials on local stations where gay dancers would flit around the DIA galleries and sing "Ya gotta have art / all you really need is art."

Back in the 80's and early 90's, the DIA was a venerable but financially strapped institution, but I'd go there all the time for movies at the Detroit Film Theatre. It was an old-style movie palace right there at the DIA, and it was one of the better places in the area for foreign flicks and other "art" movies. I think the last movie I saw there before I moved to California was Let Him Have It, a movie about the case of Derek Bentley (no relation), which is apparently quite infamous in the UK.

Anyway, what brings all this up? Well, it's Oscar night of course! And I will be watching, along with every other gay man of merit and their mothers. Here's my predictions. But before we get started, let me preface these predictions by pointing out that Hilary Swank freakin' rocks the hizzbah. In other words, she rules!

Alas:

Best Actor:

This is Jamie Foxx's night, hands down. I love Johnny Depp - he is the best actor of his generation - and one night he will have his Oscar but tonight it will be (say it with me) an honor just to be nominated. DiCaprio is good too. Jamie Foxx is drawing so much of the spotlight nobody is noticing that, with Depp and DiCaprio up against each other, it's a Grape Brothers Reunion Rumble! Where's Arnie?! Where'd he go?! Gilbeerrrrtt!!

Best Actress:

Hilary Swank, baby. Sure, her performance in Million Dollar Baby made a nation cry and tied tight the knot around Michael Medved's teeeny little balls. But it was her fantabulous performance on last week's Saturday Night Live that really brings home the gold. "Rayland, wait! *scruuuuuuuuuck* *eaaaaaaaaaagh*"

Best Supporting Actor:

I'm gonna guess and say they'll use this category to give props to Sideways and give the award o Thomas Haden Church. This is a guess cuz I haven't seen Sideways yet. The academy didn't send me my screener, dammit! Not that I'm a member or anything.

If not Sideways, then the love goes to Morgan Freeman. I don't think Alan Alda or Clive Owen have a chance, and if Jamie Foxx gets it for this it might mean no Best Actor. Though if he gets both it'll be a scoop for the ages. I sound like I do this Oscar analysis shit for a living, don't I? :-D

Best Supporting Actress:

Cate Blanchett was amazing in The Aviator. I'll give it to her. Though there's all this buzz about Virginia Madsen, but yeah, haven't seen Sideways yet.

Best Animated Feature:

Oh, puh-lease. The Incredibles.

Best Art Direction:

In a perfect world it'd be A Very Long Engagement but it'll probably be Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortuante Events.

Best Cinematography:

I'd say The House Of Flying Daggers but there's a chance for The Passion of the Christ.

Best Costume Design:

Again, The Aviator for Katherine Hepburn's fabulous pants.

Best Director:

In the Eastwood/Scorsese toss-up I'm gonna hafta say...urf..ugn...urrrrrf...Eastwood. No, Scorsese. Shit, no, it'll be Eastwood.

Best Documentary:

Super Size Me captured the zeitgeist and is holding on in ways Fahrenheit 9/11 can't.

Makeup:

I'll say Lemony Snicket. Somehow, I don't know if the Academy will give too much love to The Passion of the Christ's Jesus juice.

Original Score:

Hmmm, of those I've heard, I'll say The Passion of the Christ. It was no Peter Gabriel score, but it was more interesting than the more pedestrian Harry Potter stringfest.

Best Visual Effects:

Spider-Man 2

Best Adapted Screenplay:

I think Sideways will get it here and block a Million Dollar Baby sweep.

Best Original Screenplay:

Hmmm. Well, of the choices I'd give it to Charlie Kaufman's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I'd like to see that really great movie recognized somehow. This might be where Hotel Rwanda gets its due. I need to see it though, along with Vera Drake.

Best Picture:

Million Dollar Baby.

Those are the ones I have an opinion on. There's oodles of other categories but I'm no longer in the see-everything category of movie goer. That said, it's 1.30 and already the pre-show happycrappy brouhaha has begun.

Let me just go on the record and say that the new Quizno's ads with the computerized talking baby are not cute or funny - they're creepy. Making babies talk with computers is oogy and weird. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!Thank you. :-)